Say NO! to Pay-2-Play Tantra Workshops

An Op-Ed from Dāka Karuṇā (दाक करुणा)

Say NO! to the Carnival Sideshows!

I recently reviewed a number of retreat and workshop offerings for gay men. The events ranged from NakedMan in Australia to events in Europe and the U.K., to events in the USA, such as the Easton Mountain retreat center in New York State. Based on what I could discern from the images and galleries, the events are generally stereotypical and reinforce negative stereotypes of a subgroup of gay men. For the most part, the events and workshops attracted a majority of middle-aged men with a smattering of 30-somethings.

Many of the gallery images showed physically mature men engaging in regressive behaviors, that is, they appeared to be revisiting childhood rather than developing mature patterns of behavior. Some examples include, water activities riding pink swan blow-up floats, body painting, drag-queen performances.

Some of the so-called spiritual programs featured men holding other men, which is not alien to homoerotic Tantra (तन्त्र) and represents an important ritual activity, but in the depictions, the holding was done in a manner that suggested almost fetal behavior with one partner wrapping around the “fetus” as if mimicking a womb. This is again, a form of regressive representation, and does not figure into the behavior of a mature man seeking mature masculine awakening.

Dressing up as women is not a healthy way to awaken a masculine spirit; in fact, it is demonstrative of an imbalance of the masculine-feminine principles, with an unnatural skewing towards the feminine. What that means is imbalance, and imbalance is contrary to any notion of healthy human development in any aspect or sphere.

Many of the events and workshops were unconvincing in terms of having any real purpose, other than to provide a scenario for acting out childish characters, or enabling regressive behaviors. What I found particularly offensive is that many of the events and so-called workshops openly claimed to provide the participants with techniques and skills that normally take a good deal of time, work, study, and dedication to cultivate and practice effectively. Of course, getting in a quick grope in a touch workshop, or fondling another man in a “massage” workshop is exactly what most of the participants are after, so who am I to criticize. Right?

Well, I believe I am qualified not only to objectively and professionally criticize such events and workshops from the standpoint of ethics — they are not ethical —, from the standpoint of efficacy and effectiveness — they are far from beneficial to the participants because they reinforce stereotypes and encourage regressive behavior —, they claim to teach skills — in fact, they do not teach implementable or worthwhile skills but merely offer an opportunity not otherwise available to most of the men participating —, I object strongly to the fact that they offer spirituality for a price — when most of the abuses of institutionalized religion are based on economic or control abuses, none but the most base traditions actually allow a qualified practitioner or preceptor to charge for spiritual services. Flamboyance and outrageous, unqualified claims are snake-oil sales techniques unworthy of a true guru (गुरु), dāka (दाक), preceptor, or teacher.

Calling an assembly of lonely hearts who are willing to shell out hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars to participate in what is tantamount to a carnival side show should not be accepted by mature men seeking authentic spiritual development and guidance. But that’s exactly what these misguided men are paying for and getting from the charlatans offering these events and workshops.

In New York State and in the United States, for example, if these charlatans describe themselves as organizations fostering education or spirituality or religion, which many of them seem to do on paper, they may qualify for non-profit, tax-exempt status, and many of these organizations do exactly that, and they get away with it. The participants in such events and workshops who pay the big bucks to play are, in my opinion, accessories to the fact: If they didn’t enjoy being made fools of and if they didn’t participate in the frauds, the frauds would have to get real jobs, and they wouldn’t be cashing in on the neurotics with too much recreational cash and time on their hands.

By writing this op-ed, I do not expect to convince anyone already part of the problem to bow out any time soon. Nor do I expect that the participants in such events and programs, and the supporters of such organizations are going to have an epiphany and wake up to who they are and what they’ve become or are becoming. I do expect, however, that those men who are true seekers, who have the capacity to discern truth from fiction, and who have a genuine desire to evolve, will at least consider what I have to say, and at least be more critical and discerning in their choices of self-developmental activities.

I created Homoerotic Tantra℠ and Mascul-IN-Touch℠ as an alternative to the snake-oil salesmen, the carnival sideshows, the stereotypical gay retreats, and the fake guru-s out there. Homoerotic Tantra℠  and Mascul-IN-Touch℠ can make a difference, even if we’re a tiny minority.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for your support. Thank you for your blessings.